Team Five Morris

In the spirit of total honesty, I have to be totally honest. Today was a low day for me. We were told to expect this "honeymoon stage" during our settling in. I must have skipped it. I feel neither at home here or back in America. Today I would have given anything to worship in a "normal" western church. I can't get used to the distorted sound systems that blare off key worship music in a language I don't understand. So all these lovely African brothers and sisters are worshipping their hearts out, dancing, singing, jumping, twirling and laughing. And there I stood...sullen, lonely and empty. For any of you who have been here, you know what I'm talking about in regards to the music. For some reason everyone here thinks louder = more spiritual. The music just grates on me and it's all I can do to maintain my sanity while I try to pray as they sing. I find it so hard to reconcile their worship with ours. Now I realize that my way isn't the only way. It's not their fault I can't relate. They are truly worshipping God. Maybe that's the problemb. I am jealous that they are worshipping while I can't seem to remember how.

I knew this would cost us everything to be here but I didn't realize what EVERYTHING was. A brother from the Congo asked me yesterday how America and Uganda compare. I said there is no comparison. There is NOTHING familiar here to us. The food, clothing, driving, language(s), manners, music and culture are as far from our american culture as it can possibly be. And it's not that I really miss america or our own countries warped sense of morals. But I miss hearing God. I feel unable to pray and connect right now. I know He is still here or else it would be easy to leave. I think this may be an exercise in obedience for me. I have really had to examine myself. If I lived in a nicer neighborhood or had friends I could relate to would this be easier? Maybe. But maybe it's simply a matter of me holding firm to God as the only familiar thing in my life. Dan keeps reminding me that is has only been two weeks. So please don't think I've lost my mind and I'm packing my bags and leaving. I am in this for as long as God keeps me here. Please pray that I would be able to worship God in a new way. That I would be able to minister to the lovely people here and would be filled with joy for the opportunity to do so.

All of your comments are wonderful. I love hearing from you all. But please don't ever think that we are some super-Christians for doing what we are doing. I am struggling in these early days. The only ability we have is from Jesus. Keep praying for us please! I know better days are coming and it helps to know that you all are rooting for us! We miss you all!!!!