I'm not sure what is happening to me. It's very concerning to me to experience the woes of emotion. The older I get the harder it becomes to hold back the tears. It's like this, chick flicks, inspiring stories, my kids sometimes etc. This has gone on long enough. If this gets out I will loose all my “street credz.” It must be a Jesus thing. All the unexplainable life changes that happen to me can only be expressed with "affections for Jesus" or somthing like that. It's probably my flesh but I really get angry when I cry. It is the least manly thing ,besides cowardice, that I can think of. And even now, no one must know the events that transpired here..........
We left our family in Libby, MT last night on the 19th of December. I was sure there would be no tears from me, no straining of the voice. The goodbyes were going well at first, I got through Matthias, Kristen, Mikayla, Momma bird (Anna Roberts) then there was Paula, I could see her eyes begin to swell up a bit. I stayed strong. “Love you guys, take care!” On to Anna Klemm and then I could beat a quick retreat as Ron was consumed by the swarm of ladies hugging Loring. I grabbed the Sharps, giving them quick hugs and thought I was good to go. No tears, no quivering lip, my manliness was well in tact. Hugs for Abby as she was out the door, and Ron finally made it through the mess of tears. I hugged the big guy and we exchanged the manly yet effectual, “take care.” Watching the scene and wondering if we would ever meet again I thought about when we first met. These folks were strangers just four short months ago! Then as if biblical, we bonded like JB weld. One body, one spirit, one baptism. Yeah that makes sense. So we get to the truck and the Roberts followed us over with “the Klemm” and requested a moment to pray for us. Oh man, I'm feeling it now. Don't look, don't make eye contact, stay strong. Then as if uncontrollably, I looked into their faces. I didn't want to forget the friendship and bond....no....the family we had become. Ron began to pray for us and that's when it happened, a bee stung me in the eye. I didn't yelp but just bit my lip and squeezed out a few tears. Much love to my IM family, we'll miss you. This chapter is closed but it is only the beginning of the next.
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Your training has come to a close now and you have had to say goodbye to a new found "family". A family I have had the great pleasure of meeting and spending time with. I know how you feel about them. They all evoke the spirit of the Lord and a bond was quickly created.
Tears from a man are no sign of weakness or lack of manhood. Did Jesus not weep for his people? Tears are a show of deep feeling, a cleansing sometimes, as in grief. Don't be ashamed of your tears. It takes a real man, a Godly man, to show his real feelings whether they be for sadness, grief, happiness or love.
I'm going to miss your writings on the website and will miss you even more as you and Loring and my grandchildren embark on the new "chapter" of your lives in a foreign land. I take solace that the Lord will be with you, but I too, will weep. You know me, tears come easy, but then, I am a girl and your Mom. I love you.